Own Your Shadow


Week Commencing 6th March

This week the Weekly Shamanic Guidance is Projection:

Venus is now retrograde, which means it looks as if it’s going backwards in the sky. When Venus retrogrades we are able to look back over the last few months and see what relationships are still serving us, which ones we have outgrown, and which ones we need to end or change. If we have been in denial about what is really happening in our relationships, the veil will lift and we will be able to see the reality of the situation.

It is our projections that stop us from seeing reality as it is, and not as we would like it to be. When people don’t live up to our expectations we blame them for falling short. We are quick to judge, and usually slow to see that the other person is acting in the same way, as us.

However, we are often in denial of this behaviour because we can’t see this part of ourselves. The shadow parts of ourselves are hidden, and can only come to the consciousness like a night time ninja, unconsciously creating drama and havoc. If we are not ready acknowledge and own our shadow,  we automatically attract people who will bring this dark side up again and again.

When we blame and remain a victim of others, without recognising our own negative behaviours and actions, the more we encounter destructive relationships and experiences in our life. Whether we are projecting our worst fears or greatest dreams onto another, it is a projection, that changes at any moment. The love of our lives can become the devil in an instant, as we constantly try to fit them into the characters we want them to play.

The only way we can free ourselves from this conflict is by turning inwards and getting clear with our own feelings. When we take personal responsibility for our own actions and don’t take the actions of others personally, we stop playing the blame game, creating healthier more loving relationships.

If you are finding yourself in a relationship that is no longer serving you, it is time to ask yourself if you are you seeing reality as it is? or are you blinded by your projections? Is your judgement, expectations, or needs clouding your vision of who that person really is? Are you taking on someone else’s negative emotions that are not really yours? Is this person really seeing you as you are? or How they want you to be?

Often when we are around very dominating, controlling characters for a long time it can be difficult to hear our own needs, wants and desires. Find the time for some solitude and silence so you can hear what is really going on. A ten day Vipassana meditation or some other meditation class or retreat is excellent to get back into your own flow.

When you find a judgment arising about another, turn it around: Can you see this behaviour in you? Is your vision clear, or clouded by what you want to see? What don’t you want to see about yourself? The more you own your shadow, the more forgiveness and tolerance you will have for others.


“Amnesty is as good for those who give it as for those who receive it. It has the admirable quality of bestowing mercy on both sides.” ~ Victor Hugo

A ‘Relationship Amnesty’ is an opportunity to speak your truth to your loved one without fear of the consequences; to clarify workloads and tasks that need doing, re-assess the distribution of labour and clear up any misunderstandings, resentments and arguments.

It is a space where you can both talk maturely, as adults, and say what you are really feeling, without the drama and emotional outburst. We are just mirrors for each other, and  when we have permission to speak the truth without being a victim, we can move forward and find solutions to the issues that are creating negative emotions such as anger, resentment, fear etc. Clarification and honesty heals rifts, melds hearts together and helps us find solutions and pathways towards each other.

It is a liberating tool for people who are living more shamanically, and therefore, more consciously. When we live more consciously, we come out of the victim and blame game, and take personal responsibility for our actions. We know that it is futile to try and change someone else and that the change we seek is our own inner change.

However, you must both be in agreement to honour the Amnesty. It cannot work if one person is apprehensive or does not want to, or if you are too attached to being a victim. You must both be ready to accept responsibility for your own actions and recognise what needs to change from within.


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