Loving Yourself



Week Commencing 13th February

This week the Weekly Shamanic Guidance is LOVE:

Loving Ourselves

“To really be a healer you must first learn to heal yourself. To heal yourself you must first learn to love yourself, and in order to love yourself you must first ‘know’ yourself. Only then can you be who you truly are.” – Rebekah Shaman, The Shaman’s Last Apprentice

Valentine’s Day brings our focus back to Love, and has been traditionally interpreted as showing our love and affection for our loved ones. There are many expressions of love so maybe it is time to make Valentine’s Day, a day for LOVING OURSELVES, and take responsibility for our own happiness and well-being.

The lowest level of love is loving materialism; goods, products and inanimate objects that cannot love us back. When we try to find happiness by consuming in order to feel better, our yearnings can never be satisfied by material objects. It is vacuous because it cannot satiate the need to be loved back, so we lose interest in the object, and look for the next thing to fill the gap.

Another expression of love is loving another human being, but this too leads to disappointment, as we place our dreams, hopes and validations on the other person, that can never be fulfilled by someone else. We have been duped into believing in a fairy tale ending where everyone lives ‘happily ever after.’ Society insists we can only be truly happy when we find our ‘twin flame,’ or ‘soul mate.’ Those who are alone, must be unhappy and unfulfilled, so we strive to fit into society’s box, and search for happiness in another.

But, the only real love is loving ourselves. When we love ourselves, we love all parts of our personality, including all the dark, shadow sides. We love our vulnerability, our shame, our pain and our anger, and we learn how to be intimate with all parts of who we are. If we are not intimate with ourselves, it is impossible to be intimate with someone else.

When we have a deep intimacy with ourselves we become powerful and untouchable. We are fully self-sufficient, because we don’t need validation and we no longer need anything, or anyone, to make us feel whole. The fear of being who we are dissolves, and we can be open and soft in our vulnerability. Only then can we become truly liberated.

Loving ourselves is the ultimate goal for those who are living shamanically. When we love ourselves, our behaviour immediately changes, as we automatically love everything around us. The external world is only a reflection of what we are feeling, and how we feel about ourselves is how we are acting towards others, and the world. When we start loving ourselves everything becomes abundant, peaceful and harmonious, and our actions become more loving and healthy.

Don’t let Valentine’s be the excuse to focus on love. Starting from today, every day, make a commitment to yourself to do one nurturing and loving thing just for you. The more we love ourselves, the more love we see in the world.



This exercise can be done with anyone living or dead who is sucking our energy and leaving us feeling disempowered and weak. It is a powerful ritual for those who are tired of playing energetic games and need to break the patterns on the subconscious level. When we energetically let things go, we empower ourselves to make the changes we need in our physical world.

Lay down on the floor with your arms by your side. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths and as you exhale, exhale any negative emotions you may be feeling towards this person, such as anger, fear, blame, hate, frustration. Now breathe naturally as you bring your attention to your body. Start at your toes and gradually work up the body until you reach your head. Imagine a golden white glow flowing around your body relaxing any areas that are stressed or tense. When you are fully relaxed you are ready to start the exercise.

Imagine the person who you cutting the ties with sitting down opposite you. Face them, look them straight in the eye, and thank them for everything that has happened between you. Allow yourself some time to remember all the experiences you shared with this person, both positive and negative. Don’t suppress any emotion that needs to be released. This is the time to let go of the judgements and blame, and see the whole relationship from a more balanced perspective.

Now imagine that there are seven golden strands from your seven chakras connecting you to this person’s seven chakras. The first chakra is your root chakra, just below your genitals; second is your sacral chakra, placed just below your belly button; third is your solar plexus chakra, just above the belly button; fourth is your heart chakra, in between your breastbone; fifth is your throat chakra; sixth is your third eye chakra, situated between the eyes; and the seventh is your crown chakra, at the top of your head.

The strands can be of any dimension, silky and thin or thick and rope-like. Whatever you see in your imagination, is what it is. Now imagine you are holding a sword. Make sure you see it clearly in your mind’s eye. What does it look like? How heavy is it? What size is it? Take the sword and cut the ties that are binding you to this person. Become aware of what comes up as you disengage yourself on an energetic level.

Now slowly, and taking your time, take each severed strand and place them back into each of your chakras, ensuring that you close each chakra with a seal that has your own personal markings on it. This returns your energy back to you and seals it so it can no longer be taken from you, until you choose to give your energy to another.

When you feel complete say goodbye, you are now both released from the ties that have been binding you, and are both free from each other. Feel yourself strong and energised and give yourself some time to let your energy return. Whatever happens now, you can come from a place of empowerment where you no longer have to play the same old games but can let go of the past in order to create a new future.

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